One more hurdle...

Gage's eye doctor appointment today went... ok.  I knew he had some delay there as well, with his vision, I just never expected to hear that he was only seeing on a 4 month old level.  Structurally, his eyes are beautiful and he has no need for corrective lenses.  Instead he's visually impaired in the neurological sense.  I was told that in 75% of cases like Gages, who had IS, these vision impairments do improve with therapy, but by how much I don't know.  Gage's neurologist feels like he just needs more time and that with therapy in six months time his vision will improve dramatically.  Does it make me a horrible parent to wish that this could all be corrected with glasses?  For once I just want something to come easy for him.  He's such a happy baby.  I can't count on one hand the number of times he's actually cried because he was mad.  I want so much for him and it kills me that there's one more thing that he will have to work his ass off for.  I'm angry for him, hell I'm just plain angry at everything because this just all sucks so much sometimes.  I feel guilty for feeling this way when so many others have it so much worse, but right now in this very moment I can't help but want to beat something.  Life isn't fair.  I know that, I've been taught that, I've seen it first hand, but I can't help but wish things were different...easier.  Most of the time I'm ok with everything.  Gage is improving dramatically.  He's reaching milestone after milestone.  His vision and eye contact has gotten better since he's been seizure free.  He's showing me that he will never ever give up and he's taught me that no matter what life throws at you there is no other choice available to us BUT to take a deep breath and continue on.  The sun will rise again tomorrow even if you feel like your entire world is being destroyed.  He's taught me that when we do wake up on that next day we can choose to either fight or lay down and wallow in misery.  Tomorrow I know will be better.  I'll start researching services for vision therapy and buy all the books that I can find in regards to that subject, but tonight I just needed to vent a little.