You'll never know dear, how much I love you...

I will never forget when we were first admitted to the hospital for testing with Gage...that awful, gut clenching moment that the neurologist told us we had entered a "wait and see" game with his development. He didn't want to give us false hope he said. 

"Will my son ever walk?" I asked. 

"I don't know"

"Will he ever talk?"

"I don't know that either."

"What about sitting?  Or eating?  Or anything?  Do you know anything?" (At this point I might have gotten a tad irrational)

"No, I'm sorry but we don't."

How do go on from that?  How do you make yourself breathe again when your body is already supposed to know how to do that for you?  At one point I had to envision my lungs actually filling up with air in order to force my body's involuntary  system back into place. IT HURTS THAT BAD. But eventually that minute runs into the next and so on until you're like I am so high from today's emotions first at work with a bunch of crazy teenagers to at home where that doctors reply of "I don't know" is abliterated in 30 seconds of pure joy. Thirty seconds that started when your oldest shouts, "Mommy, Gage is growing up!" and you turn your head to see this miracle child, this child who a little over two months ago was diagnosed with the "most catastrophic of childhood epilepsies" SITTING ON HIS OWN FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER. 

This marathon is still in its first few miles but man, God sure knows how to fulfill that thirst!  DO NOT LOSE HOPE. DO NOT EVER GIVE UP.  

Psssss...And if you are a parent to a teenager, after the day I had today at work with my kids, GOD BLESS YOU. 😋